This is why authoresses DON'T take cat nip!
by Kitty-Guardian Dorothy
Summary: One day a authoresss got a hold of cat nip and being the kitty-like person gets all hyper and drunk-like, using her authoress power she sends herself and her 2 friends to the warriors world! What coas would insure?For AtemsDestinee and Fallen Crystal Moon
1. This doesn't make any sense!

"**DESSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIII! RAVEN!**" Scarlet screamed to her two friends. Desiaire and Raven.

Who, by the way, were _standing right next to her._

"Girl, what is it, and say it soom becasue I think I just went deaf in both ears" Desi, who, dispite being the more patient one, had a anime tick mark on her head. Raven, however, had the anime tick mark on her head and _steam was comming out of her ears! _

"GUUUEEESSSS WWWHHHAAATTTT!" the 12 year old cried in delight. "What?" Desi asked, Raven stayed silent just to make sure she didn't lose her temper. "IMA PUT US IN THE WARRIORS WORLD WITH MY AWESOME AUTHORESS ABILITIES!" she cried in delight again, the kitty ears on her head twitched.

"Uhh....Scarlet, what's warriors-" Raven asked before there was a _poof _and they were in a forest somewhere in England. "Dude! Lookie look! We're in ENGLAND! Isn't this fun!" Scarlet cried, suddenly Desi looked at her hands, only to see they were _paws! _Little kitty paws! "Hold up! We're KITTIES!" Desi cried in shock.

Desi was a golden-red kitty with dark amber eyes, Scarlet was a black kitten (Being the youngest) with red eyes and Raven was black cat with bangs for some reason that were tipped midnight blue, she also had midnight blue eyes and tabby stripes.

"Ima cute little kitten! With cute 'writtle paws. And tiny, itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny 'writtle fangs! Ima have 9 lives now! Oh noez! I'm a **black cat! **If I walk across you I'll give you bad luck! They'll torture me on halloween! AND IF THEY DO THAT I WAON'T GET ANY CANDY! I NEED SUGAR!" Scarlet started singing at first but then got a serious, well what do you expect from a multi-polar person that is most likely sugar high?

"Scarlet!? **How did you turn us into cute kitties!" **Raven asked actually sounding quite mad (the crazy kind) "WITH MY POWA'S OF AWESOMENESS! ALL BOW DOWN TO MEH AWESOME ABILITIES TO BEND REALITY!!!!!!" the black kitten mewed and squeled.

"Scarlet? Did...You have pixi stix?" Desi asked calmly, despite she was shocked half to death abour being a cat and all. "Nope! I HAD CAT NIP!" Scarlet cried and danced around, Desi and Raven stared at there younger friend, when did cats know how to walk or dance on hind legs?

"Off thunderclan territory you rouges!" yowled a little kitty with white fur and blue eyes. "Look a talking marshmellow! Now all I need is a brown cat for chocolate and a golden cat for gram crackers!" Scarlet squeled, suddenly a dark brown tabby with amber eyes and a golden-brown tabby with amber eyes appeared "WISHES DO COME TRUE! Now Ima make SMORES!" She said and started chasing the big kitties around, well she bumped into the huge dark brown tabbies paw and fell to the ground unconsious.

"...Lionblaze?" asked the dark brown tabby "Yeah Brambleclaw?" "Why is this kit crazy?" "Do I look like I know?" the golden cat, Lionblaze apparently, said. "Uhh, sorry about her!" Desi apologized and grabbed her friend by the scruff, "She's on cat nip" she said through a mouth full of fur. "Now we're gonna go where things make sense! BYE!" Raven said nervously and tried to run with Desi by her side, but the two 3 cats pounced, the white one held Desi down. While Lionblaze and Brambleclaw had trouble keeping down the spunky Raven.

"Lets take them back to camp! Maybe Firestar will let us put them in our clan, after all, Berrynoes, Mousewhisker and Hazeltail died of greencough so we may need kittypets to replace them!" the white cat, a female said. So the 3 cats carried Desi, Raven and the still unconsios and most likely still hyper Scarlet into camp.


	2. Scalets adorable side and bad side

"IMAWAKE!IMAWAKE!WHA'DIMISS?WHA'DIMISS?OMGDIDMARCIANSTAKEOVEREARTH?DIDTHEPRESEDENTGETFIRED?ARERUBYSBLUE!?WHAT'DIMISS!" Scarlet said so fast no one could really hear what she said. The black kitten had just woken up and now her 2 friend wished she was still alseep! So did all the cats around them.

"Uhh...We just got cat-napped by these cat who want us to join them!" Raven replied. "Don't worry I'll never let the kitties make us join them! I'll kill every last one and use their entrails as a new coat and make their pelts into a collar and put there teeth on that collar!" Scarlet growled, he teeny tiny claws slid out. But they were sharper than any know weapons by cats and people and a few known by bunnies, plus they were kinda filled with a lethal poison.

"Oh Scarlet cats don't put other cats teeth on their collar! That is the most rediculas thing I've ever heard" Raven snickered, "What if cats put cat and dog teeth on their collars?" Desi laughed.

Meanwhile in the dark forest Scourge/Tiny said _I will kill all 3 of you_

"Do you guys have a feeling that someone dead wants to kill us?" Scarlet mewed, her drop-dead adorable and huge eyes were even bigger. Most would say "Aww! So cute!" by now but the fact that her eyes were red....Well you guys can guess.

"Wow that cat nip must've really screwed up your brain!" Raven said, but the slight change in her voice revealed that it wasn't Raven, it was her alter-ego and darker half, Ayume Moonlight.

"AAYYYYYUUUMMMMMIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!" Scarlet cried in delight, she proceeded to glomp Ayumi in a kitty-hug. "Can't....Breathe.....Help...Me.....Desi!!" Ayume chocked, the kitten was _on her throat! _Desi chuckled and picked up Scarlet by the scruff, "Waaaaahhhhhh! Put me down! I want my Desi!" she kitten whinned.

Desi plopped the black kitten Scarlet on the ground and purred "I am Desi, girl" "Oh yeah! Woops I FORGOT!". Scarlet carried on running in random circles and leaving the two of them only to be carried back by a reddish-brown tabby male cat with amber eyes, who was growling though black fur, while Scarlet was hanging in his jaws, squirming and squeling and screaming random things.

"Jeez, calm down you stupid kit! Or I'll take you to the nursery!" the reddish-brown cat mewed through Scarlet in his jaws. As soon as she heard "nursery" Scarlet went completely limp. The cat put her down and said "Now you have to listen to me because I am a warrior and you are a little kit-" he said before the red-eyes kitten leaped at him. Had him on the ground and she clawed his chest, stomache and face. "DIE KITTY!" She yowled before Desi pulled her off.

"But I have no toy mouses to play with!" Scarlet whined, the reddish-brown tabby cat ran away screaming for someone/thing called Ferncloud.

"Calm down Foxleap! Now tell what clawed you so badly you look like a badger used you as a scratching-post?" asked a voice, the tom who Scarlet attacked wailed "It was that kit! She's EVIL! And I think her claws have poison because my wounds STING really badly!" the other voice said "So your saying the crazy kit that passed out from hitting Brambleclaw's paw, caused these injuries for you?"

"That kit is so cute! She's never do something like that!" yowled a female cat. "Raven! Desi! Ima go see whats goin' on OK!" Scarlet said as she sprinted away. She found herself in a big place filled with kitties! She didn't look where she was running and ran into the chest of a fire-colored cat. "HI!HI!HI!" Scarlet chirped at the fire-colored cat, a male with green eyes.

"_There __it__ is!_" the reddish-brown cat, Foxleap, shrieked and clutched onto the nearest cat. Which happened to be a fat, cream-colored she-cat with blue eyes, "Get off me I'm expecting kits here!" the cream-colored female spat. "Really? Who's the father _this time _Daisy" Foxleap said with a roll of his eyes. "Why, their Thornclaw's of course!" the cream-colored kitty purred.

"Focus Foxleap! This is the kit who gravely injured you? You been in the cat mint? Look she's playing with my tail even!" the fire-colored cat scowled. While Scarlet was lying on her back, playing with the fire-colored cats tail. Her eyes dispite being all red and stuff were so big and glittered with so much innocence that i'd put the angels to shame.

"So it's decided!" cooed a pale orange female cat with pale green eyes who gazed at Scarlet. "The adorable black kit can join Thunderclan!" "Sandstorm, that for me to descide I'm clan leader...." the fire-colored cat whined. "But Firestar! She is so cute! Please! And if you don't....I'll have kits!"

"The kit joins!" the fire cat, Firestar said as soon as the girl kitty Sandstorm metioned "kits". Scarlet made her eyes bigger and cuter "Can my friends join too? Pwease?" not even Tigerstar could resist _that _face!


	3. The crappiest name ceremony EVA'

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather for a clan meeting!" Firestar called, Desi and Raven heard him.

_Because they were standing, right next to him._

"Why do people keep trying to break our ears!" Desi complained, complaining for the first time, a anime tick mark on her head. Firedstar didn't pay attention to them and told the group called _Thunderclan _"Cats of Thunderclan, Hazeltail, Berrynose and Mousewhisker are dead and 3 missing warriors does not bode well for Thunderclan so I have allowed for 2 outsiders and a kit to join!"

All the girl kitties didn't complain, because of how cute Scarlet was, the toms dare not argue with she-cats, knowing that when angry, they show no mercy AT ALL.

"Desi! Step forward!" Firestar called, as if she was miles away, he pretty much broke her eardrums. But she did. "Do you swear to be loyal to Thunderclan, follow the warrior code and protect your clanmates, even at the cost of your life"

"Sure" Desi said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Then from this moment on you shall be-" "YOU SHALL BE DESTINYWHISPER!" Scarlet cried, after all she was standing in Firestar's paws. "Uhh...As I was saying Desi you shall be-" "Just let her keep the name!" growled Ferncloud, and dispite being a queen most of her natural life, Ferncloud, when it came to kits, was stronger than all the evil cats in the dark forest combined. So Firestar meekly nodded.

"Raven, step foreward" Firestar comanded, Raven did so, "Do you promise to-" "Yeah, yeah I heard you the first time just get on with it" "Anyways from now on you'll be-" "RAVENFEATHER!" the black kitten Scarlet chanted, Firestar look really pissed.

"Since when did a kit lead the clan?!" he almost growled but just in time remembered thet the she-cats were watching and he didn't feel like getting his fur tore out of his skin. Who deos feel like it anyways?

"DESTINYWHISPER! RAVENFEATHER! DESTINYWHISPER! RAVENFEATHER!" Thunderclan cheered, "Hey wait I didn't say those were their names-Oh never mind" Firestar mumbled.

"You were right Heathertail! This is better than Twoleg picture-boxes!" Breezepelt remarked to his friend Heathertail, he was trying to keep his voice staight since he was in a fit of giggles. As were the others who were watching, Crowfeather, Smoky, (Why they invited him? Don't ask me!) Blackstar, Russetfur, Tawnypelt, Rowanclaw, Nightcloud, Leopardstar, Mistyfoot, Mothwing and 2 random cats who like to spy on warriors without them knowing named Erin and Hunter.

Erin flew a look towards Hunter "Do we write this?!" Erin asked, "Uhhh....No I don't think so, lets go stalk Jayfeather, Lionblaze and Dovekit, kay?" Hunter replied "But Starclan told us that Ivykit was one of the 3!" Erin complained. "So! We'll just get them drunk and make them think that Dovekit is, kk?"

"Heck yes!" Erin cried and they went off to get about a zillion bottles of bear, soda, wine and energy drinks. Which for 2 cats with obbsessive compulsive disoders and giant frogs on their side, stealing stuff was as easy as breathing. (For those without asthma)

And the group of Windclan, Riverclan and Shadowclan continued to watched Firestar being tormented by a _kit._

"Hey wait! What about the kit?" Lionblaze called, Firestar looked down and screamed out "SCARLET FROM NOW ON YOU'LL BE SCARLETKIT! OKAY!? ANY COMMENTS? WELL THAT'S ALL THE TIME I HAVE BYE!" then he ran off to his den.

"Yay! Ima Scarletkit now! Ima Thunda'clan kit! Wait I want a mommy!" Scarlet_kit _cried, the thunderclan she-cats volunteered, except for the apprentices. Anyways, Scarlet_kit _ran up to the crowd and ran around in circles chasing her tail around, having one longer than a dogs, she caught it easily and tried to tug it off, only to make her stumble.

And landed right in the paws of a gray tabby she-cat with blue eyes. "Can you be my mommy?" the black kitten asked, purring and rubbing against the gray cats chest fur. No cat could resist such cuteness and said "Oh-Ok. I'm Jayfeather"

What were you expecting Cinderheart? So she accedentily mistook Jayfeather for a girl, what caos awaits our 3 main character-of-this-fic?

_**BOOM**_

"Oh no our twoleg picture-box!" wailed Breezepelt.

Well starting with that.......


	4. Alterego's and near death?

"Hello there pretty-kitty" the golden-tabby cat, Lionblaze purred to Ravenfeather, "Wanna go _solo hunting _with me if you catch my drift......" Ravenfeather's eyes grew a different glint as she mind-switched with Ayume. "Hmm, no I think I'd rather play with my new scratching post" she snickered and sprang at Lionblaze

**Warning the next content contains violence, a angy Ayume, wimpy Lionblaze and a still-catnip-high-Scarlet, so I you are a minor.....Eh just read anyways Ima not ganno stop ya. Well I am becasue Ima not gonna show it!**

"Oooh, that shouldn't be able to bend that way" Breezepelt said to Leopardstar, all of them were eating a bag of puffy and crunchy yellow stuff they'd stolen from the twolegs and were watching Lionblaze getting his ass handed to him by a she-cat. "Jeeze! Lionblaze is the best warrior in thunderclan and he's being beat-up by a she-cat! He has no class!" Blackstar commented.

Mistyfoot, Leopardstar, Heathertail, Russetfur, Tawnypelt, Nightcloud and Mothwing suddenly glared at him with murder in their eyes. "Uh...Ladies? Is there a reason you are staring at me like that?" Blackstar asked inching away, "If you think she-cats are so weak, then lets see you deal with 8 of them and live!" Russetfur yowled and all of them attacked and all that was left of the shadowclan leader was a alot of blood, shredded remains of white fur, one of his black paws and his still-beating heart.

"STARCLAN WHY!?" Lionblaze yowled, Scarletkit watched and asked her new _mommy_ Jayfeather "Mommy? Can I help Ravenfeather slice Lionblaze's di-" Jayfeather instantly shushed her "No Scarletkit! That is a bad word!" "Noez! Not bad words! If I say them I'm gonna go to Hel-I mean the dark forest!" Scarletkit wailed.

"It's okay my dear kit, I won't let Tigerstar get his paws on you!" Jayfeather promised, he'd gotten somewhat serious about his new role as a mommy.

_"Darn it!" Tigerstar said to his son Hawkfrost in the dark forest, "That kit alone could bring us back to life and mcuch more! How can I accomplish that with Jayfeather protecting her?" Hawkfrost rolled his eyes "Dad! Jayfeather is blind! And he's a medicine cat! You could just kill him-" "Now how will I get her into my paws" Tigerstar wondered not paying attention. "Why did I have to be cursed with a stupid father?" Hawkfrost moaned._

So Ayume stood triumphantly over the mangled and bloody-mess of a body of Lionblaze. Ravenfeather mind-switched again she had a wry grin again. "Any of you want any 'a this now?" she asked to all the toms who were watching. "I kinda do" said a black kitty with a dark brown underbelly and amber eyes, he actually looked like a mini doberman. "Well then if you try hitting on me or my friends then prepare for all Hell to break lose!" she said and trekked into the forest.

Desi sighed at her friends antics, then a dark-cream colored cat with blue eyes came up to her . "You must be the new warrior! I'm Rosepetal" she greeted "Desi- I mean Destinywhisper" Desi corrected herself, dispite her new name she didn't exactly adjust so easily as Scarletkit and Ravenfeather. She'd always know herself as Desi.

"Is that kit yours? She's a _little _hyper and just _maybe _crazy" Rosepetal said, Desi looked at her with wide eyes and started laughing histerically eventually yowling in laughter. "What's so funny?!" Rosepetal growled "Scar-let-k-k-k-it my d-d-d-daugh-ter?! MY RA MY RIBS!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! She's just a f-f-f-f-friend!" her laughter ceased after a good five minutes.

Then both of the she-cats noticed the sun was down and it was night time. "Time to sleep" Rosepetal sighed and walked to the warriors den. "C'mon you evil kit time to go to the nursery" Foxleap growled at Scarletkit and grabbed her by the scruff. "NO YOU'LL NEVA' TAKE ME! DESTINYWHISPER! RAVENFEATHER! MOMMY! SAVE ME! NOT THE NURSERY! IT'S FILLED WITH RETARDED MIDGETS! HELP ME TALKING MARSHMELLOW"

Jayfeather shot at Foxleap and pinned him to the ground and growled "Hey! If my kit says she doesn't want to go to the nursery, SHE DOESN'T WANT TO! Got it mouse-dung?!" even the great Bluestar would fear Jayfeather right now, Foxleap nodded scared almost to death. Jayfeather turned to Scarletkit "C'mon Scarletkit, you get to live in the medicine cat den!"

"YEAH!" She cried, but as Jayfeather turned to lead her she turned to Foxleap with her blood-colored eyes turned to dark-red almost black and spiked-up fur "Never take me for granted again FoxDUNG! Alway's fear Lunar Eclipse, if you mess with my other half, bitch" she muttered before turning back to normal and followed Jayfeather.

And that day, 2 cats were proved to have alter-ego's, and two other cats suffered under said alter-ego's becasue Foxleap was scared to death by Luna (Scarlets alter-ego) and Lionblaze was on the ground almost dead (Becasue no one bothered to treat him)

What more coas would these 3 main character cause? Will Firestar be able to handle it? WIll Jayfeather embrace that he is a tom? Will Lionblaze or Foxleap live? Will Tigerstar get his paws on Scarletkit? Does Desi have an alter-ego? Well quit reading these questions or you'll just wonder more!


	5. He has CENSORED burgers

"**Geeze, how do cats get used to 4 legs?**" Luna moaned in spirit form. She saw Scarletkit, her lighter half curled up next to some gray tabby named Jayfeather. 'Hmm, she's asleep so I guess I can have control' Luna thought with a grin and mind-switched with Scarletkit.

Her black pelt spiked and bright red eyes darkened to dark red almost black. Her dark eyes opened and she grinned her shark-tooth grin. "Time for toture, thunderclan" Luna snickered, her voice was a shaprer and somewhat deeper voice. No one should underestinmate a theif from ancient greece.

Luna krep around camp following a strange noise, in a bush there were wierd moaning and crying noises. _Oh boy! Someone's being tortured! _she thought in delight and she poked her head in the bush, there were Ferncloud and Dustpelt and they were-

Luna shot away with terrified red eyes, _MY EYES! Think happy thought Luna Happy thought- Hey wait when did I ever think happy thoughts! NOOOOO! _She trembled and had to fight the urge to throw up.

"Deltpeeeeeeeelllltttt!" she heard Ferncloud cry out. "FASTER!" and Dustpelt responed this time "FEEL MY POWER!"

This time, Luna did throw up.

_**The Next Morning**_

So all the cats woke up, Destinywhisper yawned and tried to wake Ravenfeather up, "Wake up, Ravenfeather" she said, poking her with a forepaw. "Wake me up when it's breakfast time mommy" Ravenfeather moaned and turned the other way.

The Destinywhisper realised something, _they haven't eaten in 3 days! _"RAVENFEATHER WAKE UP WE HAVEN'T EATEN IN 3 DAYS!" Desinywhisper cried, Ravenfeather had fur standing on end as she spange with alert and scared eyes, clutching the roof of the warriors dean with her claws.

A anime tick mark appeared on Desi's head "Get down Ravenfeather, it's just me." and Ravenfeather let go, well when she did she hit the ground _hard _and passed out. Desi sighed and grabed her midnight-striped friend by the scruff and dragged her outside.

"OH MY RA!" Desi cried, dropping Ravenfeather in the process, making her wake up in the impact. "Where's my pie!?" Ravenfeather cried, not realising she wasn't dreaming anymore before noticing the camp. "Whoa, what hurricane came here?"

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I did it you fools!" the 2 female cats turned to see a dark-brown tabby tom with amber eyes. "Why!? Why did you do it Brambleclaw!?" "Becasue I- Hey wait I'm not Brambleclaw you idiots, I'm TIGERSTAR!" "Dad?" the actual Brambleclaw asked in confusion.

Ignoring them, the camp was looked like it was chewed up and spit out by a fox. Cats were hanging by tree's by there feet, those cats were; Scourge, Bone, Darkstripe, Clawface, Brokenstar and Hawkfrost. There also was a large vat of boiling chocolate pudding and a cat was tied to a branch over it. And that cat was Firestar.

"Tigerstar, you're oh I don't know _DEAD!_" Mousefur, who was shackeled to a rock yowled at him. "Well one of your own has revived me! Come out Luna!" a spiky black kit with dark-red eyes came out from behind him.

"Oh no" Ravenfeather groaned "Luna _why _did you have to mind-switch with Scarletkit while we're _kitties? _You just brought a evil cat back to life"

"Becasue I tried to cause a little bit of trouble when I found these two," she flicked her tail to Dustpelt and Ferncloud who were hanging over a vat of _all of their children_, even the dead ones! "where doing the horizontal tango!"

"The wha-" Desi asked before cover her eyes with her tail. "EWW!" She cried in horror. "That's right! So now I'll hyave revenge for my burned eyes!"

"Now Luna, I know it was a awful sight but do you really have to be so dramatic?" Ayume asked once she mind-switched with Ravenfeather. "No my eyes literally set on fire and burned! I mean just look at how scorched they are!"

"What do we have to do to make you kill Tigerstar again?" Ayume asked, "NOTHING!" Luna cried. "Luna if you put Tigerstar back where he was you can torture the talking marshmellow!" Desi said, "OK!" Luna squeled in delight.

"Tigerstar you and your evil buddies will go back to hel- I mean the dark forest and not only that from now on you're gonna have ass burgers!" Luna said and all the evil cats disapear and the camp went back to normal.

"What's ass burgers?" asked Briarpaw. "The desease where your obsessive compulsive." Ravenfeather replied. "Uh no I literally meant ass burgers, burgers are literally comming out of his ass, it's really gross" Luna said before Scarlet regained control.

"MOMMY!" she wailed, and emmidiatly Jayfeather showed up. "Where were you my sweet kit?" he cooed. Scarletkit curled up at his chest, "I was sleeping!" she chirped. "Come with me Scarletkit, where gonna go look for some catmint"

"Okay" Scarletkit replied following her 'mommy'.

"I wonder what catmint is" Raven asked aloud but shrugged it off. "Where's the food?" "Uhh...Ravenfeather?" "Yeah Destinywhisper?" "_This _is the food" Desi said her tail pointing to the bodies of dead mice and birds, there was even a few rabbits.

"THIS IS CRUEL!" Ravenfeather cried. "You want us to eat innocent mice, birdies and bunnies!?" she yelled to the nearest cat, Firestar. "Well yes, that is fresh-kill, and you do not eat untill you hunt for the elders and queens" he said and walked away.

".....We have to hunt?" Ravenfeather said with wide eyes and in her hear Ayume laughed _Oh hell yes! Let me!_


	6. Censoring and epic battles?

Desi sighed and rested her head on her paws, "Wrong Destinywhisper?" said a cherubi voice and a tiny nose poked her ears. "Oh nothing Scarletkit, it's just that you and Ravenfeather seem like more important characters, you get more screen-time and there was a lot of swearing in the last chapter and I felt left out because I never swear"

"Uhhhh....I KNOW! You can have a epic adventure! Most of the screen-time to yourself! ALL IN THIS ONE CHAPTER!" "Really? Oh wait how is it screen-time if we're in a fanfic and not one TV." Desi wondered, "Good point...OH WELL! !!!!!!" Scarletkit chirped. Being arounf Scarletkit while hyper for 3 days _reallly _gets you both used and surprised with her, but Desi bounded off.

Scarletkit grinned smuggly and padded into her _mommy's _den. A feindish plot in her head.

_WITH DESTINYWHISPER._

"........So I have to save your clan from giant spiders, Doctor Octogonopus, robot zombies, pirates, flesh-eating aliens, the jumping brains from Wonderland?" Desi asked Onestar. "No duh Sherlock Holms!" he screamed as a giant black widow squirted webs at him.

"Well better get my fight on, but I'm not violent." she sighed as her dark amber eyes suddenly shadowed to bright purple-pink. Her fur grew longer and dark ginger as she grinned a insane grin, apparently she _did _have an alter-ego. She stood on her hind-legs, put a blue headband on her head and grabbed a giant harpoon in one paw/hand and a machine gun in the other.

"Bring it on (CENSORED)" Destinywhisper's alter ego screetched and-

**NOTE; THE NEXT SCENE WAS SO AWESOME AND EPIC, SO MUCH IT WAS MORE AWESOME THAN AVATAR AND LORD OF THE RINGS COMBINED, THAT I DECIDED TO REPLACE IT WITH AYUME TRYING TO HUNT!**

Ayume grinned and wriggled her rump in the air, and slowly stalked toward a little brown mouse. "CHEW TOY!"Ayume yowled and pounced at the mouse, but since this mouse seemed to have wind-speed it doged and scampered away, squeking in laughter. "(CENSORED) YOU, YOU (CENSORED) (CENSORED) MOUSE! I HOPE YOU GET (CENSORED) IN THE (CENSORED) (CENSORED) WITH A (CENSORED) AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO (CENSORED) SIDEWAYS (CENSORED) (CENSORED) (CENSORED)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ayume screamed.

So then she tried a rabbit, and wrestled it on the ground. "HELP ME!" it screemed and then she reaslised A) That wasn't a rabbit B) It was a cat C) It was a shadowclan cat D)She was screwed E) Ravenfeather was gonna kill her with a (CENSORED)

"Uhhh.......TO INFINATY AND BEYOND" She yowled dramatically and ran off into the sunset.

"....What the (CENSORED)?!" The shadowclan cat said.

"Hmmm, I've never seen a black squirrel, now I havez to catch it" Ayume said as she hid in the bushes as a fat squirrel. "Oh, all I have to do is imagine it's Scarletkit, after all she's all hyper and crazy" Ayume tried to pounce but it GOT AWAY! "(CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORED) ON A STICK!" Ayume yowled.

"So why did't you bring back any prey?" Firestar asked her once Ayume came back to camp. "I'm telling you! The prey is uncatchable!" Then a little brown mouse, a rabbit and a squrrel jumped into Firestar's paws, dead. "Uncatchable.....?" Firestar asked with a risen eyebrow. "Oh (CENSORED)"

**BACK WITH DESTINYWHISPER**

"That battle was freaking sweet! I mean we killed all of them and didn't even get a scratch" Krestelwing exclaimed to Desintywhisper's alter-ego, who was grinning, blood splatttered her dark-ginger fur, she was grinning and had a sugar cookie in one paw. "My favorite part was whenever the nerds from star wars came to help you!"

"Naw, I think the best part was whenever the dinosaurs from Jurassic park ate all of the pirates and giant spiders" she said with her insane grin

"No... I think the best part was whenever all the warrior fan-girls came and wrote the villans out of this fanfic" Onestar aurgued. "Tch whatever, I have to go back to my clan now, later (CENSORED)!" she called over her shoulder and ran back to Thunderclan.

"I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Destinywhisper's alter-ego yelled once she was in camp, then changed back to normal Desinywhisper. "Why am I covered in ketchup" she wondered only to lick it off her fur, not realizing it was actually blood. "DESTINYWHISPER!" Called a slurred voice, her blood ran cold as she turned to face Scarletkit. Who had a huge grin on her face and a sweet-smelling scent came off her fur. Scarletkit hobbled and said "Who gots butter in their boxers? TIGERSTAR DOES!"

Meanwhile in the dark forest.

Tigerstar sneered at Scarletkit and stood in white boxers with red hearts on them, inside, was indeed butter. "Stupid kit" he muttered, suddenly he pulled something from the boxers.

"Burger?" he offered Hawkfrost, who did't notice it was covered in brown and green crap. "Sure" he answered and ate in unaware it was a (CENSORED) burger.

"GUESS WHAT!" Scarletkit screamed out. "What?" Desintywhisper asked expecting something about chocolate or something else random. "IGOTMORECATNIPANDBOYWASITGOOD!!!!! WANT SOME!?" Scarletkit yelled out and swished her tail revealing sweet-smelling herbs.

"Oh crap...RAVENFEATHER!" Desi screamed out and the blue-and-black cat suddenly was next to her. "What" "Look at Scarletkit" and so she did. "(CENSORED) NOT CATNIP!!!!!"

Looks like our main-characters are in a fix here. What will unfold the next chapters? Willl Scarletkit realise that she needs a daddy too? Will she ask Jayfeather to get her one? Will Destinywhisper realise she has an alter-ego? Will she realise that she drank blood? Well quit reading these questions because they sure-as-(CENSORED) won't help


	7. This is like a messed up soap opera

"Mommy?" Scarletkit asked Jayfeather. "Yes, sweet little Scarletkit?" He purred, "Well, your my mommy, but Foxleap has a mommy too, but Dustpelt is his daddy, can I have a daddy?" she squeked and cutely blinked her eyes.

"Erm....Uh....Of course! And your about to meet him!" Jayfeather said and wiped the sweat of his forehead. "C'mon, he's at the moonpool!"

"Erm.....Jayfeather?" Willowshine asked Jayfeather, "Yes?" "Is there a reason you've brought a....kit with you?" "Oh, Willowshine, Littlecloud, Flametail, Barkface, Mothwing and Krestelwing, I'd like you to meet my kit Scarletkit" he cooed, "HI!HI!HI!" She chirped. Mothwing tried to hold back her fit of giggles, knowing exactly what was going on.

"Jayfeather!" Willowshine spat and slapped him. "How dare you have a mate and kits! Your a medicine cat for starclans sake! I mean keep your legs closed!" "Willlowshine your just saying that because you have a creepy crush on him and stalk him all the time like a creepy stalker" Krestelwing said with a roll of his eyes.

"I-I....I don't love Jayfeather! I love....er....Cupcake.....Frosting" she said slowly. "Yeah! My mates name is Cupcakefrosting!"

"Then how come he's not in Riverclan" Mothwing asked with a giggle. "Or windclan" Barkface said, "Or shadowclan" Littlecloud said. The older medicine cats started giggling

"Krestelwing! Come here!" Jayfeather whispered to Krestelwing, who came over puzzled. "I want you to meet your kit!" he growled. Krestelwing looked horrified. "Jayfeather have you been in the catmint?" "No but I have! Hi daddy!" Scarletkit chirped.

"Listen to me" Jayfeather whispered to wear Scarletkit couldn't hear him. "I'm her mommy and she wants a dad so thats who your gonna be! Got it?" Krestelwing nodded a little to fast, after all Jayfeather was scary....Especially when in moomy-mode.

"Yay! I have a mommy and daddy!" Scarletkit sang and pranced around the two **toms. **"So, do I live in Thunderclan now or what?"

**A FEW DAYS LATER.......**

"I hate you!" Jayfeather sobbed and slapped Krestelwing across the face with _unsheathed _claws. "C'mon honey!" he moaned. "No! Don't you 'honey' me! You don't know what it's like to have a kit and be pregnant!" the blind medicine cat sobbed and ran out of the den.

"Jeeze what's worng with Jayfeather" Lionblaze (He's still alive!) asked his 'brother-in-law' "He's convinced he's gonna have kits, he also thinks I hate him" Krestelwing groaned "Why does my mate have to be convinced he's a she-cat?"

"Since he's blind maybe he isn't sure that he doesn't have a-" Lionblaze was cut off. "UNCLE LIONBLAZE! DADDY!" Scarletkit wailed in delight and launched herself at Lionblaze. Like Ayume, _she was on his throat. _"Can't......Breath" he gasped before Krestelwing pulled her off and scowled. "Now Scarletkit if you're going to torure your uncle, do it where all of the she-cats can see it!"

"YOUCAN'TTELLMEWHATTODO!" She yowled and swiped at his paw, leaving 5 long scratches. Everyone was still unaware that her claws held poison. He was most likely gonna lose that paw. And Scarletkit ran off to the warriors den for Ravenfeather and Destinywhisper.

"Oh crap" was all Krestelwing could say before the two she-cats came storming to him. He wasn't fooled by their, big, innocent smiles. "Oh Krestelwing!" Ravenfeather who switched places with Ayume who held that shark-tooth insane grin, said.

_**WITH SCARLETKIT**_

Scarletkit was playing with a moss-ball by herself and felt a little lonely so she asked Firestar. "Firestar, where do kits come from?" he shot her a look with wide eyes. "Why do you ask?" he asked quickly. "Mommy's mad at daddy because mommy said she was gonna have kits and he didn't care"

"Your saying that Jayfeather is mad at Krestelwing because he's gonna have kits and Krestelwing doesn't care." Firestar comfirmed. "Yep, yep." she said. "Now where do kits come from, great-grandpa?" she said and poked him as he froze.

"Uhhh....Go ask your grandmother Leafpool" he said and ran off.

Scarletkit cocked her head to one side, she remembered her grandmother Leafpool, she remembered whenever her _mommy _introduced her.

_**FLASH BACK TO THE PAST!**_

_"Mom!" Jayfeather yowled at the entrance of the warrior cat den, a light brown tabby with white chest and paws with amber eyes came out of the nursery and snapped "WHAT!" _

_"I'd like you to meet your grandkit; Scarletkit!" He said and motioned to the kit playing with his tail. "So Hollyleaf is alive and had a kit?" Leafpool asked, she'd been hunting whenever Firestar had said Scarletkit could join. _

_"Leafpool; why do you think she's Hollyleafs kit?" Jayfeather growled. "Because she has black fur" _

_"Mom! She is my kit!" Jayfeather cooed. Leafpool slapped him "Have you no shame! I had you and your brother and sister, and look what happened to me!" Leafpool hissed. "I thought you'd be supportive, mom!" Jayfeather sobbed, "Do you know what it's like to be a medicine cat and a mother?!"_

_Leafpool sweatdropped. "Jayfeather, you're a TOM and thus CAN'T have kits like that! Your a medicine cat you should know that." _

_"Toms can have kits too!!!!!! I HATE YOU!" Jayfeather yowled and carried Scarletkit away by the scruff. _

"What was I gonna do again? Was I gonna make the toms sing? YES!" Scarletkit cried. "FOXLEAP!" She called and the reddish-brown tom immediatly came. "What is it you demon?" he growled

"Will you sing a rap song? PWEASE! IFYOUSAYNOIWILLCRY!" She screetched, "Finefine!" he mewed in fear.

"BRAMBLECLAW GET YO PANSY (CENSORED) OVA' HERE!" Foxleap screamed and Brambleclaw magically was right next to him. "What?!" Brambleclaw growled. "You will sing these words and if you don't I will kill you and then Firestar and become leader and kill all the kittypets" Foxleap growled and handed him a paper. "Fine, Fine"

**Brambleclaw: **_Eh yo Fox_

_Check this out_

_I was just at the gathering, right?_

_Heard these two toms talking_

_One of them said to the other one_

_That they knew someone, who said you guys are WACK!_

**Foxleap: **_Who said we're wack?!_

_*_Points at Thornclaw_* You said we're wack?_

_You take it back!_

_Who said we're wack?!_

_*_Points at Birchfall_* You talkin' smack?!_

_Your gonna get smacked!_

_You sayin' that I'm wack but it just ain't so!_

_Someone said we're wack!_

_Why would they say that!?_

_I don't think we're wack! _

_Who said we're wack!?_

_Who said we're wack! _

_I can't believe that!_

_They must be smokin' catmint_

_To say that we're wack! _

_Say that we're wack!_

_You'll probrably get smacked!_

_If you say we're wack!_

_*_Points at Toadstep_* Did you say we're wack!?_

_WHO SAID WE'RE WACK!_

_I'll paint your eye black!_

_Wont'cha check my facts_

_Who said we're wack?!_

_How could a cat up and call a cat wack?_

_How could Tigerstar turn the blue sky black?_

_How may kits born will ever reach their dreams?_

_And how could a cat call another cat wack?!_

**Brambleclaw: **_I heard a rumor_

_That someone said we're wack. _

_I think that it's wack_

_To call someone wack_

**Brambleclaw and Foxleap: **_I AM NOT WACK!_

_*_Points at Spiderleg_* No matter what you say!_

_What did you say?!_

_Did you say I'm wack!?_

_All the she-cats in the camp put your paws up!_

**She-cats: ***Raises their paws up*

**Brambleclaw and Foxleap: **_All the toms in the camp put your paws up!_

**Toms: **_*_Puts their paws up_* _

**Brambleclaw and Foxleap: **_Now whoever said we're wack put your paws up!_

**Longtail: ***Puts his paws up*

**Brambleclaw and Foxleap: **_Now everyone else put your paws down!_

**She-cats and Toms: ***Puts there paws down*

**Brambleclaw: ***Points at Longtail* Oh! There he is

There he is!

And so Brambleclaw and Foxleap beat Longtail up and Scarletkit was fast asleep, in her catnip-drunken state rap music makes her fall asleep.


	8. The start of 3 commercial breaks

Scarletkit walked up to her _mommy _who was HUGE with kits_. _"Mommy? When will my writtle brother and sissies be born? All the other kits are retarded midgets" she whinned. "Well, they'll be born soo- OH MY STRCLAN! KRESTELWING!!!! THE KITS ARE COMMING!"

**A FEW MINUTES LATA'**

Jayfeather's face was soaked in sweat as he screamed out; "(CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORE)(CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORED)(CENSORED) KRESTELWING I WILL KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!!!!!!!!" And boy was Krestelwing scared! "Now Jay-Jay honey everything is gonna be fin-" he managed to say before Jayfeather grabbed his throat. "*cough* Jay.....Jay....Can't.....*cough*...Breathe!"

**A HOUR A SO LATA'**

Jayfeather panted and stared lovingly at his new kits "I love you Krestelwing" he purrred, "*cough* I *cough* love *cough* you *cough* too *cough* Jayfeather" Krestelwing said still having trouble breathing because Jayfeather was choking him. But he also looked at their new kits.

"Their beautiful Jayfeather. Just like you" He mewed and slapped Jayfeather rump with his tail. Who blushed. Scarletkit came up and looked at her new brothers and sisters. There were 3 kits, 1 boy and 2 girls. "Can I name one mommy?" she asked with huge eyes, Jayfeather didn't know why but her could _see! _"Yes, my precious Scarletkit" he purred. She looked at the 2 girls, one looked like Krestelwing and the other looked like a darker-furred version of Jayfeather, she turned to the boy. He was a black one with white muzzle and chest

"He'll be Sketchkit!" she squeled, Krestelwing looked at her wierd, "Why Sketchkit?" he asked "Because he looks really sketchy!" she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the forest. ""

"This one can be Crestkit" Jayfeather said pointing to the near-copy of himself. Krestelwing looked at the copy of himself "She'll be.........Violetkit"

Scarletkit and Violetkit?

Whats with the colors? Oh I get it's part of this wacko prophecy that Starclan forgot to tell us!

_Destiny will whisper of a Raven, a Krestel and Jay who will chirp a Sketch of a Scarlet and Violet Crest _

HOW MORE OBVIOUS IS THAT?!


	9. Comercial break part 1 of 3

**Reader**: ***Flips channel***

**Tigerstar**: Are you tired of having to listen to some fat lazy leader while they boss other cats around and lay around their den? Are you tired of how the warrior code stops you from doing crap you always wanted to do? Are you tired of worshipping dead cats who won't tell you what a prophecy means? Do you want to kill someone? Do you want to take over the forest?

I**vyki**t: YES!!!

**Tigerstar**: Well I have all your answers! All you have to do is become evil!

**Reader**: Wrong channel ***Flips channel***

**Cinderpelt is dressed in a tiny mini purple skirt with a heart painted under her eye and a tight red t-shirt that shows her belly, she has a neon blue-streak. Hazeltail is right next to her clad in black jeans and a spagetti-strap white top with black hoodie over it and flames dyed in her fur, she has a wild-strawberry-red streak. Poppyfrost is last with a dark-gray hoodie with black diamonds on the arms and blue jeans, a snake is painted to make it look like it's coiling around her neck and she has a neon pink-streak.**

**Cinderpelt: **_Your cruel device_

_Your blood like ice_

_One look could kill_

_My pain your-_

***Flips channel***

**Princess: **You were my brother best friend and I had your kits! I knew it you just wanted to have kits that were related to Firestar!

**Smudge: **Babe, I swear, I love you ***Gets slapped***

**Princess: **You never came to see your own kits ***sobs*** I knew it! So I had my revenge, I've been secretly seeing-

***Flips channel***

**Crowfeather: *Dressed in a suit with sunglasses and a gun in one paw* **SpecialAgent Crow stats report, Thunderclan is advancing, I repeat the enemy is advancing! I need reinforments!

***Flips channel***

**Erin and Hunter are on screen, with a letter in paw.**

**Erin: **Attention! The prophecy says that Dovekit with be one of the 3!

**Hunter: **And Ivykit will go all evil!

**Reader: *****Frustrated*** Where's the next chapter?!

**Authoress randomly pops up. **

**Authoress: **I'm afraid your on a comercial break, reader-person. You will have two more before there is a actual chapter!

**Reader: **WHAT!? Oh wait where did you come from?

**Authoress: **Why I am the authores of this humor tale and I liek useing my authoress powers, like right now I end the first part of this comercial break

**Reader: **You wha-

**END OF 1ST PART OF COMERCIAL BREAK!!!!**


	10. Not MEOW MIX!

**Lionblaze: **I liek chicken

I like liver

Meow mix

Meow meow

Please deliver

I like chicken

I like liver

Meow mix

Meow meow

Please deliver

I like chicken

I like liver

Meow mix

Meow meow

Please deliv-

**Blackstar: **Shut the #%$ UP!


	11. Poor morons

**Brambleclaw: **Yo bro I've been waiting for like, forever, what too you so long hommie

**Hawkfrost: **Hey, hey it's all cool, yo, I'm here right, home slice

**Brambleclaw: **So why you so late bro dog?

**Hawkfrost: **I was banging Squirrelflight and her sexy medo-cine cat sister.

**Brambleclaw: **....You...You son of a bitch!

**Hawkfrost: **Well since we have the same dad, you just called him a bitch.

**Brambleclaw: **You just made me cuss out my own dad!You dickwad!

**Hawkfrost: **That's exactly what your precious Squirrelflight said as I-

**Brambleclaw: *Shoots black laza' beams at him* **Black licorice!

**Hawkfrost: *****Slices the laza' beams with his claws*** White licorice is where the power is, dude. Here's my cheat-codes home dawg; Press A, B, Y and start all at the same.

**Brambleclaw: **What cheat is that?

**Hawkfrost: **WHITE LICORICE PRISON-BITCH! ***The whole lake explodes***

**Brambleclaw: **Holy shit hommie

**Hawkfrost: **Ha ha, wanna ask me anything else you son of a bitch!

**Brambleclaw: **Now you did it! So neh!

**Hawkfrost: **I was talkin' bout yo MAMA! So neh!

**Brambleclaw: **That's itl BRING IT ON BRO!

**A few hours later their both dead and there's no other future reference.**

**THERE THE COMERCIALS ARE ENDED!**


	12. What were you expecting? Barney?

Scarletkit was chasing Squirrelflight, who even though was a she-cat, had the commom sense to know that Scarletkit was INSANE. "Here Squirrely! Squirrely! Squirrel!" Scarletkit cooed and pounced on Squirrelflight tail, thus making her trip. "Starclan why?!" Squirrelflight screamed.

"_Scarletkit! Listen to me! It is I; Spottedleaf!_" said a wierd voice that only Scarletkit could hear. "Are you my concounse?" the black kit amewed, only to make Squrrielflight believes even more she was insane, "_What?! No! I'm a cat of starclan!_" the voice said again. "Spottedleaf? Aren't you dead?" Scarletkit asked.

"_Yes god damnit!_" the voice snapped, "AHHHHH! MOMMY HELP! IT'S A GHOST!"

Spottedleaf made a wierd face and approached Erin and Hunter, who were guzzling Venom and Monster energy drinks, _"Dudes, Scarletkit is being very stupid under the influence of catnip, are you sure it was a good idea to give her catnip as a twoleg?" _Spottedleaf asked.

Erin said "Hey, it was a good idea! Who ever said no one wins in war?" Hunter then asked "Spottedleaf, aren't you dead?" _"Uh...Yes...Why?"_

"AHHHHH! MOMMY HELP! IT'S A GHOST!"


	13. JOE!

Scarletkit yawned "Great grandpa Firestar! I'm boooored!" she wined. "Go play with you siblings then!" he said jumpily, even the great Firestar trembeled at her cuteness. "But they can't play yet! Can you me a apprentice! I want Foxleap as a mentor!" she pleaded with big, huge, giant eyes. "Uhh......" okay it was obvious who won and who lost

**LATER!**

"Scarletkit untill you earned your warrior name Yaddy yaddy yada obey the warrior code yaddy yadda yadda you shall be Scarletpaw yaddy yadda yadda, Foxleap I don't care if you can make a restraining order she is your apprentice so no whining!!" Siad Firestar boredly. Foxleap looked as if he would hang himself.

Shaking like a wet dog, he touched noses with Scarlet_paw, _her eyes narrowed dangeruosly which contrasts against her innocent face "What _fun _we'll have hunting and battle training!" she snickered and obly he could hear it. Foxleap thought; _Maybe hanging myself won't be such a bad idea.....? _

**LATER (AGAIN!)**

"Okay Scarletpaw, remember you have to stalk prey before you kill it" Foxleap explained. "OMSC! Clan cats are stalkers!" she gasped. "Not like that-" "So this whole time you were all stalkers! I've been stalked by JustinBeiberpaw all this time!" "Justin Beaver who-?" "Does this mean YOU'VE been stalking me too random tree who I know name John Osborn Eliot...Or should I say....JOE!"

The tree then talked! "Oh &#%$ she knows my secret!" Foxeleaps eyes nearly popped out, "......Uh.....I JUST WANTED TO TEACH HER HOW TO HUNT AND LIVE!" He screamed. "Hey Foxleap look! I caught the talking marshmellow!" he whirled around and he saw that Scarletpaw held Icecloud down with a singlepaw.

"Scarletpaw...That is not prey...THAT'S MY SISTER!"

"......Did I pass?"


	14. Narrators

Scarletpaw ran up to Firestar "WUZZUP?!" She yowled from right behind. He screamed like a she-cat who's just seen Jason Vooreheese-"Oh c'mon what kind of comparison is that? Oh yeah Jason Vooreheese IS as scary as a kit" Scarletpaw aurgued with me the narrator, heh stupid kit, now she's even more crazy! "And what's with the constant over use of the coma's anyways?" Ok, so MAYBE, just maybe, I use comma's too much, but Scarletpaw is just really immature. "Don't you call me immature! Because you smell really bad, did you know that? You smell like old thinks and foxdung so don't call me immature because you don't take baths" I'm a narrator, I'm not even a person, how can I take baths?

"Girl, there's no use auguing with the narrator, whatever he/she says, it happens" Destinywhisper said to her overly-annoying friend "NO NARRATOR CONTROLS ME! I'M A AUTHORESS!" Well then Scarletpaw punched herself "OWW! Oh it is on!" So she tried to find me "You're behind the bush" Oh shit...The rest of this chapter is censored because Scarletpaw found me and is gonna kill me


	15. What NOW huh, Epicstar!

Hey wazz up! This is Scarletpaw, and this is what happened in my day in training, it was so weird!

It started like any otherday, Sketchkit had just taken a wizz on uncle Lionblaze, great-grandpa Firestar was in the emo-corner and Foxleap was writing suicide notes, so yeah any other day. But then out of nowhere some kitties just- Ya know what, I can't do this anymore! The narrator can have his/her crappy job back!

Thank you, anyways, the cats of everyones nightmares just showed up! It was none other than...COOKIECLAN! After some cats got tired of forbidden romance, prophecy's and kitty-pets, they left and formed a new clan called Cookieclan...ItS leader was none other than...

"Hey Zach! What'cha doing in the warriors world!" Mewed Scarletpaw to her once-twoleg brother. He was now a dark brown tabby cat with black stripes and amber eyes. "My name is No longer Zach! My names is now Epicstar, leader of Cookieclan!" he said like he was important. Scarletpaw said "You mean those bunch of ugly, useless cats behind you?" "Yes!" he said and continued like EVERYONE WAS LISTENING, well they were all ignoring him, oh some king with a blood fued and new clan, big woop. "I am now here to destroy anything that meant anything to you, Scarletpaw! I will overthrow your clan and Cookieclan shall rule the forest with me, Epicstar, as supreme ruler!"

"Yeah, well guess what?" Scarletpaw said, "What?" Epicstar asked. "Your younger than me, so you should be a kit in the nursery right now!" she laughed and started to beat him up; JUST LIKE GOOD OLD TIMES! "Cookieclan! Lets get the hell out of here!" Epicstar wailed and ran away with his tail between his legs

"And stay out of my forest!" Scarletpaw yowled at him and laughed; "This isn't your forest Scarletpaw; it's Starclans!" said her father Krestalflight. "What are those stupid ghosts gonna do to me now?" she snorted

Oh how she'd regret that.


	16. Again Fail hunting

"Scarletpaw! Scarletpaw! Look! I cought a green mouse Ravenfeather(Who was really Ayume) said proudly as she trotted to the insane apprentice. Now Scarletpaw was crazy, but she wasn't dumb; that was no green mouse. "Um...Ayume; that's a moldy shoe" she said slowly.

"NO!" Ayume aurgued "It's a green mouse! I've been trying for the poast moon to catch it; and I finally caught it!" Scarletpaw sweatdropped "Dude! You spent the past moon hunting a _moldy shoe!_"

"No; I spent the last moon hunting a _green mouse _that kept getting away!" Ayume said and carried the moldy shoe to the fresh-kill pile. "Something about that she-cat isn't right" Scarletpaw "How do you _not _catch a moldy shoe?" of course she was being a hypocrit, she did some pretty crazy things to...No not some, _ALOT _of crazy things.

To bad Jayfeather was a medicine cat, she got all the catmint she wanted

"I'm covered in ketchup again!" cried Destinywhisper from the warriors den, still she had been yet to find out about her evil alter-ego.

Then again, this wasn't Scarletpaw's problem.

But Foxleap was.

For one thing; he never took her go to Wallmart; saying stuff that he _didn;t know what the starclan it was,_ what kind of excuse was that? Scarletpaw smirked, oh she would get back at him.

Sneaking up behind her mentor she yelled "BOO-ZOO-MAGROO SAID !" and Foxleap ran away, screaming bloody murder.


End file.
